Frankly.

      So, I have moved on past Joel. God has really been working in me. I have been catching up with multiple old friends and meeting new ones. It is really different, for me anyways, to have guys interested in me. I am use to guys disliking me because of my standards or attitude. I have changed a lot over the years. God has really done good work. He is continuing His work. 

Frank. 

     So I grew up in the church with Frank. He was my oldest brothers friend. I remember really wanting his attention, well his and any other of my brother's friends. I have been talking to him for about a month now. And Joel and I have been broken up for about 2 months now. I can't get over how I am drawn to Frank. No, not in a sexual way. He loves Jesus. Which is criteria number ONE. He is a natural leader. He leads me without me realizing it. He is independent.. well as far as I can tell so far. He is a great guy; who keeps pointing back to Jesus, no matter the scenario. I called him once when I was upset with my dad about the car fiasco. He told me to go "talk to Jesus, and ask Him what to do," that is the single greatest thing He could have said. The fact he said those words made me stop and realize how irrational I was being. 
He speaks without judgement and with love. He has expressed multiple times how he likes me and thinks I am pretty. And I have expressed the same, but this time when it is expressed I am not forcing myself to say something which isn't true. Okay he is 26, so what! I am going to be 21 in August, it's only a ... yeah I calculated that online.
     We just got off the phone, and the more I look at how our relationship, friendship, is developing the more I see it as more then just friends. I told him tonight "I think we treat each other as more then just friends," his response "What does that mean" 
"I don't know" 
"I think you are the only one calling it friends"
"What are you calling it"
"I think that has to be a mutual decision"
"Yeah, your right."


      I don't want to be fooling myself or falling into a trap of the enemy. When I say this one feels right, I get scared. I reason how the last two had been different and how in the beginning I had had doubts but had pushed them aside, which is true, but I don't want to make up excuses just to date him sooner. I really like him and want to do things right. 


       Daddy, 
I really like Frank. I want this to be right. You know what I want, what my dream is for a marriage and a husband. I really like Frank, but as I have said before I want to marry my best friend. Lord, please make Frank my best friend. He is amazing, thank you for him. Daddy, guide me, direct me, convict me, rebuke me, bless me. I ask the same for Frank. Please be with us as we walk with you and with each other. Allow us to bless each other and to ALWAYS point each other toward you. 
In Your name, 
Amen! 


-S.R.Macke