I am finding it more and more difficult to live with my father. He is belligerent in my eyes. Tonight we had a talk about how immature I am. And about how I needed to be going to sleep. This conversation went from 1:30 until 2 am. If he REALLY had a problem with me staying up then he should have said get off the phone, go to bed, we are going to talk in the morning.
I feel like he is going to bed at least appease because he got to tell most of the ways he feels disrespect and disappointed in me for. The conversation in my eyes was a 'Let's tell Sierra all the ways she fails to be perfect."
I really want to move out, ASAP! I am going to start looking at apartments in the area. I might just go live with my grandparents. That is a reasonable idea! Though they might be more strict then my dad...
I would have to be in by 11, instead of 12. I would have to tell them if I wasn't at school, work, or church. And I probably would eventually end up in the predicament I am in now [hating my life]. Not all of it. I do enjoy most things about my life, just not living with my father. Whom I see as disagreeable and pushy. I realize I may be biased, but then again Ben, my brother, did move to the west coast because of him and other various reasons. My dad was one of the top reasons. I might do the same. Get my dad off my back, get my own place, and live close to my brothers, doesn't sound like a bad life. Only problem I have with it, is that Joel doesn't seem to fit into it. Joel, my boyfriend.
I am literally going to have to budget my time and money.
I hate having to check in. I feel like I am five. NO, I am twenty. Get out of my face, I don't owe you anything. I don't need to tell you where I am.
I need to move out.
Peace,
S.R.Macke
